{"id":473,"date":"2012-07-18T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-18T22:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/traktor-action\/"},"modified":"2017-11-15T11:36:21","modified_gmt":"2017-11-15T09:36:21","slug":"traktor-action","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/traktor-action\/","title":{"rendered":"Episode 20: Traktor-action"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dette er saka:<\/strong> Ein fast tilsett ved Garborgsenteret \u2013 eit framifr\u00e5 museum som opnar i desse dagar \u2013 har saman med ein viss l\u00e6rarvikar teke livet av journalist og forfattar Jan Zahl. Skjult bak falske Garborg-bartar var dei p\u00e5 veg til Knudaheio for \u00e5 l\u00f8ysa eventyrlege mysterium, men dei stogga p\u00e5 vegen for \u00e5 kikka inn gjennom vindauget til forfattar Einar O. Risa. Medan dei g\u00f8ymte seg i eit tre, kom nokre Torvald Tu-tilhengarar g\u00e5ande, sannsynlegvis ute p\u00e5 hekkan. Dette kan bli stygt, f\u00f8lg med!<\/em><\/p>\n

Eg var fanga i eit tre saman med John Fossmark, l\u00e6rar og revolverdesperado. Me hadde spionert p\u00e5 Einar O. Risa, og avdekt at Kanne-trilogien ville koma opp i minst \u00e5tte bind, noko som var d\u00e5rleg nytt for slike som hadde sett pengar p\u00e5 at han skulle gje seg etter fire. Men medan me sat der blant greinene og g\u00f8ymde oss, if\u00f8rt falske Garborg-bartar slik at ikkje politiet skulle kjenna oss igjen, kom to p\u00f8blar forbi. Det var Torvald Tu-tilhengarane Frank og Morten S\u00f8rensen som var ute p\u00e5 hekkan. Bak dei var alle lyktestolpane sl\u00f8kte; og no, n\u00e5r dei hadde f\u00e5tt auge p\u00e5 Fossmark sin s\u00f8lvgr\u00e5 Renault fr\u00e5 1999, kunne me sj\u00e5 at dei fr\u00e5da. Dei banna s\u00e5 lukkeleg og grovt at Fossmark og eg spontant heldt oss for \u00f8yrene og nynna “Gud signe Noregs land”:<\/p>\n

Gud signe Noregs Land,<\/em>
\nkvar Heim, kvar Dal og Strand,<\/em>
\nkvar Lund og Lid.<\/em>
\nHan lat’ det aldri d\u00f8y,<\/em>
\nhan verje Bygd og \u00d8y,<\/em>
\nhan verje Mann og M\u00f8y,<\/em>
\ntil evig Tid.<\/em><\/p>\n

Det hjalp. Ein augneblink pusta eg lettare, men s\u00e5 steina dei bilen noko grassat.<\/p>\n

Det singla i glas og vart store bulkar i karosseriet. Dei b\u00f8ygde panseret ved hjelp av muskelkraft \u2013 det vart st\u00e5ande rett opp og gjorde bilen umogleg \u00e5 kj\u00f8ra.<\/p>\n

“S\u00e5nn,” h\u00f8yrte me fr\u00e5 munnen til Morten S\u00f8rensen. “No kan dei ikkje kj\u00f8ra meir.”<\/p>\n

Eg spurde Fossmark om br\u00f8rne kunne vita at bilen var hans. Han st\u00f8nna ulukkeleg.<\/p>\n

“Nei nei,” sa han. “Det var vel helst p\u00e5 grunn av klistremerket i bakruta. Eg kj\u00f8pte eit slikt Garborg er best, ingen protest<\/em>; det var dumt av meg. Ein rein provokasjon, sj\u00f8lvsagt.”<\/p>\n

“Onkelen min har Skrekk og gru: Torvald Tu<\/em>,” sa eg.<\/p>\n

“Det er jo livsfarleg,”\u00a0kviskra Fossmark.<\/p>\n

Br\u00f8rne S\u00f8rensen tok high five, og ein av dei stakk armen inn gjennom den knuste bakruta. Heldigvis let dei det mystiske portrettet av Arne Garborg ligga, og vart i staden st\u00e5ande og sj\u00e5 undrande p\u00e5 den premien Fossmark hadde vunne p\u00e5 Rocktum-festivalen i Orkdal.<\/p>\n

“Sj\u00e5, Frank,” sa Morten. “Den var l\u00f8yen.”<\/p>\n

“Kva st\u00e5r det?”<\/p>\n

“Rocktum<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

“Kva kan d\u00e9t vera?”<\/p>\n

“Ser du kje det?” sa Morten; og forklarte broren kva det var han sto og holdt i.<\/p>\n

Frank sleppte premien med det same. S\u00e5 tok dei kvarandre i hendene og dansa i heksering. Dei song annakvar strofe fr\u00e5 Tu-songen “Myrfibel”:<\/p>\n

“L\u00f8ie \u00e5 st\u00e5 her!”<\/p>\n

“Rikka \u00e5 g\u00e5 her!”<\/p>\n

“Sj\u00e5 p\u00e5 n\u00e5r blommane vogga i vinn!”<\/p>\n

“Solstr\u00e5le kransa!”<\/p>\n

“Glitra \u00e5 glansa!”<\/p>\n

“Spela \u00e5 spinne \u00e5 spola seg inn!”<\/p>\n

Dei klukka n\u00f8gd, tok high five og istemte “konge” og “good”.<\/p>\n

Fossmark heldt seg for \u00f8yrene og resiterte nokre linjer fr\u00e5 “Jesus Messias”. Br\u00e5tt trudde eg dei hadde h\u00f8yrt kviskringa hans \u2013 for dei skunda seg mot treet me g\u00f8ymte oss i.<\/p>\n

“Eit epletre,” sa Frank.<\/p>\n

“Me f\u00e5r kje eple enno,” sa Morten.<\/p>\n

“Me g\u00e5r p\u00e5 slang likevel.”<\/p>\n

“Ja, kvifor ikkje?” sa Morten, “eg likar \u00e5 rista.”<\/p>\n

“Eg \u00f2g,” sa Frank.<\/p>\n

“Eg mest,” sa Morten.<\/p>\n

“N\u00e6-hei,” sa Frank.<\/p>\n

S\u00e5 rista dei noko ofseleg. Dei nytta b\u00e5e hendene og rista det dei var karar om. Oioi, tenkte eg. No fell eg.<\/p>\n

“Lat oss sj\u00e5 om noko fell,” sa Frank. Det var det siste eg h\u00f8yrde.<\/p>\n

D\u00e5 eg kom til meg sj\u00f8lv hadde eg gysla vondt i kneet. Eg klarte likevel \u00e5 stabba meg opp p\u00e5 f\u00f8tene, og det same gjorde Fossmark. Utsl\u00e5tt p\u00e5 marka l\u00e5g br\u00f8rne S\u00f8rensen. Mellom dei l\u00e5g Rocktum-trofeet og to falske Garborg-bartar.<\/p>\n

“Kva hende?” spurde eg.<\/p>\n

“Du klarte ikkje \u00e5 halda deg fast. Du datt som ei fillerye opp\u00e5 den eine av dei. D\u00e5 eg s\u00e5g d\u00e9t, kasta eg meg over den andre.”<\/p>\n

Han skunda seg bort til bilen sin, stakk handa inn og drog Garborg-biletet ut. Eg ville tilbake og plukka opp dei falske Garborg-bartane; dei var naudsynte med tanke p\u00e5 at me var etters\u00f8kte for mord og m\u00e5tte opptre inkognito \u2013 men Fossmark nekta meg. Me hadde ikkje tid, sa han, me m\u00e5tte stikka f\u00f8r dei vakna. Dessutan hadde han ein plan. Han peika p\u00e5 ein gammal John Deere\u00a0hj\u00e5 dei Austb\u00f8.<\/p>\n

Me sprang i veg. Fyrst over Kumark\u00e5, s\u00e5 over Hestamark\u00e5. Framme p\u00e5 tunet jumpa me inn i traktoren.<\/p>\n

“Hopp inn,” sa Fossmark; “eg<\/em> kj\u00f8rer.”<\/p>\n

Men i det same han fekk tjuvstarta traktoren, kom bonden sj\u00f8lv ruslande. Han plystra n\u00f8gd, og hadde eit str\u00e5 i munnvika; men vart sn\u00f8gt rasande d\u00e5 han forsto kva me dreiv med. Han ropte og skreik etter oss, men me kj\u00f8rte lett ifr\u00e5 han. I spegelen kunne me sj\u00e5 at han tok fram mobiltelefonen, og like etter h\u00f8yrde me politisirenar.<\/p>\n

“Pokker!” sa eg. “Me skulle hatt noko betre enn ein traktor. Dei kjem til \u00e5 innhenta oss.”<\/p>\n

“T\u00f8v,” sa Fossmark. “Det finst ikkje noko betre enn ein traktor. Me er j\u00e6rbuar, jo.” Han strauk traktoren kj\u00e6rleg over girspaka. “Du har vel h\u00f8yrt at eit kj\u00f8ret\u00f8y ikkje kan kj\u00f8ra raskare enn det sj\u00e5f\u00f8ren vil?”<\/p>\n

“Det var vel Petter Solberg som sa noko slikt?” spurde eg.<\/p>\n

“Rett,” svarte Fossmark. “Men eg<\/em> seier at kj\u00f8ret\u00f8yet heller ikkje kan g\u00e5 saktare<\/em> enn sj\u00e5f\u00f8ren vil!”<\/p>\n

Han tok eit skikkeleg grep om rattet. Plutseleg akselererte me. Fossmark la traktoren ut i motg\u00e5ande fil og f\u00f3r forbi audiar og volvoar og einskilde BMW-ar. Ja, der passerte me ein porsche \u00f2g; eg vinka forsiktig til sj\u00e5f\u00f8ren, men han gav meg berre fingeren att. D\u00e5 ein motg\u00e5ande trailer pr\u00f8vde \u00e5 tvinga oss tilbake i h\u00f8grefila ved \u00e5 b\u00e6rta, tok Fossmark revolvaren ut av jakkelomma og skaut to gongar i lufta. Etter det hadde me vegen for oss sj\u00f8lve. Snart l\u00e5g politibilen langt bak oss, og me bestemte oss for \u00e5 ha det litt moro. Me freste over potet\u00e5krar og sm\u00e5bekkar og tvers gjennom eit lite, falleferdig drivhus p\u00e5 Line.<\/p>\n

Det var skikkeleg morosamt. S\u00e5<\/em> flat hadde J\u00e6ren aldri vore f\u00f8r.<\/p>\n

“Ein gong til,” sa eg. “Ver s\u00e5 snill.”<\/p>\n

“Okai, men berre fordi det er eg<\/em> som vil det,” sa Fossmark.<\/p>\n

Me kj\u00f8rte gjennom drivhuset<\/strong> s\u00e5 mange gonger at\u00a0det begynte \u00e5 kveldast\u00a0d\u00e5 me tok fatt p\u00e5 det siste stykket til Knudaheio.<\/p>\n

“For ein sinnssjukt god traktor,” sa eg. “Tenk at me klarte \u00e5 kj\u00f8ra ifr\u00e5 politiet med denne.”<\/p>\n

“Det var kje traktoren,” sa Fossmark surt. “H\u00f8yrer du kje etter n\u00e5r vaksne folk snakkar til deg? Det var eg som gjorde det. Eit kj\u00f8ret\u00f8y kan kje g\u00e5 saktare enn det\u00a0sj\u00e5f\u00f8ren vil.”<\/p>\n

“Gje deg, John. Det der\u00a0m\u00e5 du lenger ut p\u00e5 landet med.”<\/p>\n

“Me er p\u00e5 Undheim, for svarte! Me kjem ikkje lenger ut p\u00e5 landet enn dette.”<\/p>\n


\n_________<\/strong><\/strong>
\nInntil vidare,
\nGonzo Johnsen<\/strong>
\nFormidlar
\nNasjonalt Garborgsenter<\/p>\n

Til oversynssida<\/a><\/em>
\nNeste: Knudaheiblogg!<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"Episode20liggande5\"
Episode 20.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":3697,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-garborgs-galningar","featured-image-size-large"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nEpisode 20: Traktor-action - Garborgsenteret<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/traktor-action\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nn_NO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Episode 20: Traktor-action - Garborgsenteret\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Episode 20.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/traktor-action\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Garborgsenteret\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-18T22:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-11-15T09:36:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2012\/07\/Episode20liggande5.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1425\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"704\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"\u00d8rjan Zazzera Johansen\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"\u00d8rjan Zazzera Johansen\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutt\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/traktor-action\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/traktor-action\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\u00d8rjan Zazzera Johansen\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/52c44fabae367c881e773d89b13f6a39\"},\"headline\":\"Episode 20: Traktor-action\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-07-18T22:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-11-15T09:36:21+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/traktor-action\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1248,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/traktor-action\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/2\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/Episode20liggande5.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Garborgs galningar av Gonzo Johnsen\"],\"inLanguage\":\"nn-NO\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/traktor-action\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/traktor-action\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.jaermuseet.no\\\/garborgsenteret\\\/traktor-action\\\/\",\"name\":\"Episode 20: Traktor-action - 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