{"id":459,"date":"2012-07-22T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-22T22:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/fossmark-er-ein-dass-og-eg-drit-i-han\/"},"modified":"2017-11-15T11:30:00","modified_gmt":"2017-11-15T09:30:00","slug":"fossmark-er-ein-dass-og-eg-drit-i-han","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/fossmark-er-ein-dass-og-eg-drit-i-han\/","title":{"rendered":"Episode 16: Fossmark er ein dass (og eg drit i han)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dette er saka:<\/strong> Ein viss John Fossmark og vikaren p\u00e5 Garborgsenteret \u2013 eit framifr\u00e5 museum som opnar grueleg snart \u2013 har ved ein feil teke livet av forfattaren Jan Zahl. Dei vart villeia til \u00e5 tru at han var den nye Garborg, og er difor uskuldige. Kva gjer dei no? F\u00f8lg med.<\/p>\n


\nI Garborgsenteret sin storsal l\u00e5g liket<\/span><\/strong> til forfattar og journalist Jan Zahl. Han var blitt plaffa ned av John Fossmark, utdanna nordist og norsklektor ved Bryne vidareg\u00e5ande skule. Me hadde trudd at Zahl var den nye Garborg, men no hadde me diktsamlinga \u00abI Helheim\u00bb i fanget \u2013 tredjeutg\u00e5va fr\u00e5 1922 \u2013 og s\u00e5g tomt ut i rommet. P\u00e5 side 95 las me:<\/p>\n

Sel eller Kval
\nrett eller gal
\nDen nye Garborg er ikkje Jan Zahl.<\/p>\n

Eg, ein vikar p\u00e5 Garborgsenteret, og John Fossmark, ein kaldblodig mordar, hadde g\u00f8ymt oss p\u00e5 kontoret til sjefen min, Inger Undheim, Garborg-ekspert og p\u00e5fuglelskar. To politiar var p\u00e5 leiting etter oss, men ingen ville koma p\u00e5 \u00e5 kikka inn her.<\/p>\n

\u00abDet var d\u00e5 j\u00e6kligt til profetisk presisjon,\u00bb sa eg til Fossmark d\u00e5 sp\u00e5domen hadde f\u00e5tt synka inn. \u00abTenk at Garborg for nitti \u00e5r sidan visste at det ville koma ein forfattar med namn Jan Zahl.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abGarborg var jo\u00a0eit geni,\u00bb\u00a0forklarte Fossmark, \u00abdei profetiske evnene hans vart dokumentert allereie i ni\u00e5rsalderen. D\u00e5 sa han \u2013 og dette fanst det fleire vitne p\u00e5 \u2013 at naboen sin katt ville d\u00f8y. Og det stemte. Ein gong d\u00f8ydde katten.\u00bb<\/p>\n

Eg h\u00f8yrde nesten ikkje etter. Det Fossmark sa, var kjedeleg. Eg sat nemleg i sjefen sin gode stol. Den var i plysj og kenguruskinn, med vibrerande fotskammel og sidelengs hovudst\u00f8tte. Ut av h\u00f8gtalarane str\u00f8mma behagelege snorkelydar. Eg gjekk inn p\u00e5 administrasjonssidene til garborg.no og byrja \u00e5 skriva p\u00e5 ein artikkel. Det var trass alt jobben min. I fylgje instruksjonane fr\u00e5 hovudkontoret m\u00e5tte ein st\u00e5 p\u00e5 og jobba, sj\u00f8lv om ein var etters\u00f8kt for overlagt drap. Unnataket var drap p\u00e5 overordna, s\u00e6rleg direkt\u00f8rar.<\/p>\n

\u00abKva gjer du?\u00bb spurde Fossmark, framleis skuffa over at me hadde knerta feil ny Garborg.<\/p>\n

\u00abEg skriv p\u00e5 episode 16,\u00bb sa eg.<\/p>\n

\u00abHan er ikkje s\u00e5 aller verst, den artikkelserien din; men eg tykkjer du er noko slepphendt med sanninga. Til d\u00f8mes karikerer du for mykje. I ein av dei fyrste episodane skreiv du at eg alltid gjekk i Garborg-supportarutstyr, dette er ikkje rett. Eg hadde berre pynta meg for anledninga, eg visste jo at du kom p\u00e5 bes\u00f8k og ville gjera stas p\u00e5 deg. Du var jo utsendt ifr\u00e5 Garborgsenteret. Og den greia med kaffikoppane var noko urettvis, tykte eg. Eg hadde blanda konjakk i dei, noko du allereie hadde\u00a0sagt nei takk til.\u00bb<\/p>\n

Han sette lommelerka til truten. Eg orsaka meg med at eg m\u00e5tte skriva s\u00e5 rasande fort.<\/p>\n

\u00abOftast skriv eg p\u00e5 telefonen,\u00bb sa eg; \u00abmedan me er ute og g\u00e5r, p\u00e5 flukt ifr\u00e5 politiet, og slikt.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abJau jau,\u00bb sa Fossmark, \u00abmen n\u00e5r eg skriv, d\u00e5 tek eg meg tid til \u00e5 gjera det skikkeleg. N\u00e5r eg til d\u00f8mes skriv eit av mine mange lesarbrev til J\u00e6rbladet \u2013 og dei er ikkje akkurat d\u00e5rlege, om eg f\u00e5r seia det sj\u00f8lv \u2013 s\u00e5 tek eg arbeidet alvorleg. Eg kan g\u00e5 kvilelaust rundt i leilegheita og grunna. Skal eg bruka pluskvamperfektum eller preteritum? Gje inntrykk av \u00e5 vera tilbakeskodande eller i n\u00e5et. N\u00e6rleik eller frampeik? Korte eller lange setningar? Subjektivitet eller olympisk perspektiv? Mange eller f\u00e5 adjektiv? Stort eller lite ordforr\u00e5d? Ironi eller overberenheit? Slike vurderingar er ikkje lette, Gonzo, men dei m\u00e5 gjerast.\u00bb<\/p>\n

Eg kunne ikkje nekta for at haldninga hans gjorde meg \u00f8rlite grann sur. Ikkje s\u00e5 mykje, men faen heller. Det der hadde det verkeleg ikkje vore naudsynt av Fossmark \u00e5 seia! For ein sann j\u00e6vel han var. I helvete! Eg var jo ein Eg var jo ein<\/p>\n

Me likna p\u00e5\u00a0Arne Garborg, begge to!<\/p>\n

Opp fr\u00e5 ei anna eske fiska me fram to store kvinneparykkar. \u00abHulda\u00bb sto det inni dei.<\/p>\n

Kr 299,- Made in Fr\u00f8yland.<\/em><\/p>\n

Me tok p\u00e5 oss kvar sin. Dinest bytta me og hadde kvar v\u00e5r. Me var herr og fru Garborg. Ja, b\u00e5de han og b\u00e5de meg. Me var diktaren og m\u00e5lmannen, dramatikaren og politikaren, danserinna og norskdomsforkjemparen.<\/p>\n

Etter ei stund tok me parykkane av oss, men bartane beheldt me p\u00e5. Med dei kunne me snika oss ut, ingen ville kjenna oss att.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ute p\u00e5 Atriumsplassen heldt me p\u00e5 \u00e5 le oss i hjel<\/strong>. Politibetjentane Salte og Strand hadde stogga oss i trappa, men berre for \u00e5 sp\u00f8rja om me hadde sett Johnsen og Fossmark. Ein augneblink hadde dei vorte noko skeptiske, iallfall Strand; men Salte sa at viss me ikkje hadde hatt bartar, s\u00e5 skulle han ha arrestert oss.<\/p>\n

Me kniste.<\/p>\n

\u00abJa ja,\u00bb sa eg, \u00abeg f\u00e5r g\u00e5 heim og sova. Eg fekk lite s\u00f8vn p\u00e5 jobben i dag.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abEg \u00f2g,\u00bb sa Fossmark.<\/p>\n

\u00abMen du har jo hatt fri heile dagen,\u00bb protesterte eg. \u00abEin treng ikkje \u00e5 sova d\u00e5, John. Kvifor var du ikkje p\u00e5 jobb, forresten, du som er l\u00e6rar?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abDu veit jo det, Gonzo,\u00bb svarte han, \u00abat eg er fritenkjar. S\u00e5 i dag tenkte eg at eg skulle ha fri. God natt.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abGod natt,\u00bb sa eg, men d\u00e5 var han allereie forsvunnen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

_________
\nInntil vidare,
\nGonzo Johnsen
\n<\/strong>Med bart<\/a>
\nNasjonalt Garborgsenter<\/p>\n

Til oversynssida<\/a>
\nNeste: Klasserom 22! <\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\"Episode_16_liggande\"
Episode 16. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":3686,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-garborgs-galningar","featured-image-size-large"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nEpisode 16: Fossmark er ein dass (og eg drit i han) - Garborgsenteret<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/fossmark-er-ein-dass-og-eg-drit-i-han\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nn_NO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Episode 16: Fossmark er ein dass (og eg drit i han) - 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