{"id":4268,"date":"2016-12-17T01:00:39","date_gmt":"2016-12-16T23:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/?p=4268"},"modified":"2017-01-09T15:16:45","modified_gmt":"2017-01-09T13:16:45","slug":"7-desember","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/7-desember\/","title":{"rendered":"7. desember: #julehelge"},"content":{"rendered":"

John Fossmark, avdelingsdirekt\u00f8r p\u00e5 Garborgsenteret, og Sorry Jansen, ein formidlar s\u00e5 kortvokst at han nesten var fiktiv, gjekk m\u00e5lretta gjennom sn\u00f8en i Storgata.<\/p>\n

\u00abMe har alts\u00e5 eit problem,\u00bb oppsummerte Fossmark, \u00absom kan utradera heile nynorskens eksistens. F\u00e5r bokm\u00e5lsmafiaen halda p\u00e5 med dette, vil j\u00e6rbuen venna seg til bokm\u00e5l og alt kan skje.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abJa,\u00bb sa Sorry, \u00abmen der det er eit problem som har med litteratur \u00e5 gjera, m\u00e5 det ogs\u00e5 finnast ei l\u00f8ysing.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abMen kor er han d\u00e5? Ser du han?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abL\u00f8ysinga?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abJa. Helge Torvund.\u00bb<\/p>\n

Fossmark og Jansen hadde sj\u00f8lvsagt ringt til den ber\u00f8mte poeten, litteraturorakelet og ufeilbarlege detektiv i alt som hadde med spr\u00e5k, litteratur og psykologi \u00e5 gjera. Han hadde svaret p\u00e5 alt, jamvel den vanskelegaste sudokuen i VG gjekk som ein leik for han. Torvund var sj\u00f8lvsagt nynorskforfattar og til \u00e5 stola p\u00e5 n\u00e5r det kom til m\u00e5lsaka. Han hadde mellom anna\u00a0vore toppsk\u00e5rar p\u00e5\u00a0gutelaget til N\u00e6rb\u00f8 i\u00a01967.<\/p>\n

\u00abHan er til \u00e5 stola p\u00e5!\u00bb\u00a0hadde trenaren sagt p\u00e5 \u00e5rsfesten. \u00abFor Helge er m\u00e5l\u00a0ei lett sak.\u00bb<\/p>\n

Sidan hadde\u00a0han halde seg til m\u00e5lsaka. Til n\u00e5 hadde\u00a0Torvund skrive over f\u00f8rti nynorskb\u00f8ker.<\/p>\n

Men kor var han?<\/em><\/p>\n

Dei kikka til h\u00f8gre og til venstre, s\u00e5g framfor seg og bak seg. Fossmark l\u00f8fta jamvel p\u00e5 f\u00f8tene for \u00e5 sjekka at ikkje litteraturdetektiven skjulte seg under s\u00e5len hans.<\/p>\n

Mange menneske passerte, somme vart st\u00e5ande litt f\u00f8r dei tok vegen. Ein og annan spurde Fossmark om autografen, men dei forvann fort d\u00e5 han snerra til dei.<\/p>\n

\u00abBesynderleg,\u00bb snerra han. \u00abHelge er ein mann som held ord. N\u00e5r han seier at han er i Storgata, s\u00e5 er han i Storgata, det er eg sikker p\u00e5.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abKanskje han er sur for at du beit han i leggen den gongen?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abGje deg. Det m\u00e5 ha grodd n\u00e5,\u00bb sa Fossmark.<\/p>\n

P\u00e5sken 2013 hadde leggen til Helge Torvund vore framsidestoff i J\u00e6rbladet. Fossmark, som p\u00e5 denne tida enn\u00e5 ikkje hadde f\u00e5tt medisin mot den leie kannibalismen sin, hadde d\u00e5 tatt ein smakebit av poeten.<\/p>\n

\u00abMe f\u00e5r sp\u00f8rja julenissen,\u00bb sa Sorry Jansen og peika p\u00e5 ein nisse med apekatt i band. Dei samla pengar til folk flest, slike som elles ikkje ville hatt r\u00e5d til \u00e5 dela med flyktningar.<\/p>\n

Jansen tok eit bilde til Instagram. Det var jo s\u00e5 vakkert. Med sn\u00f8, julepynt i gata og ein skjeggete nisse med apekatt. Men akkurat idet han knipsa,\u00a0smelta sn\u00f8en og\u00a0nissen l\u00f8fta\u00a0p\u00e5 lua.<\/p>\n

\"img_20161105_171915insta2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00abHelge!\u00bb sa Fossmark.<\/p>\n

\u00abIkkje s\u00e5 h\u00f8gt,\u00bb hysja Torvund og sette raskt p\u00e5 seg lua att. \u00abEg spionerer.\u00bb<\/p>\n

Helge Torvund var ein skikkeleg luring. Han visste jo alt. Ein gong, d\u00e5 oppfinnaren Vilhelm Skj\u00e6rpe var blitt kidnappa<\/a>, var det Torvund som ordna opp. F\u00f8rst visste han kva h<\/em>onorificabilitudinitatibus<\/em> betydde, dinest hadde han vore klok nok til \u00e5 sp\u00f8rja Fossmark om hjelp. S\u00e5 hadde han motvillig smugla Fossmark ut av fengselet. Til sist hadde han gjort som Fossmark sa n\u00e5r dei pr\u00f8vde \u00e5 spora opp Skj\u00e6rpe. P\u00e5 vegen hadde dei kome over det legendariske diktarhjulet. Denne historia hadde f\u00f8rt Fossmark og Torvund s\u00e5 n\u00e6r kvarandre at det f\u00f8rte til den ber\u00f8mte smakebiten.<\/p>\n

Dei var opplagt glade for \u00e5 sj\u00e5 kvarandre.<\/p>\n

\u00abJavel,\u00bb sa Torvund.<\/p>\n

\u00abJaud\u00e5,\u00bb sa Fossmark.<\/p>\n

\u00abG\u00e5r det bra med deg, John?\u00bb<\/p>\n

Fossmark nikka:<\/p>\n

\u00abOg med deg?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abEg har framleis bitemerke i leggen.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abS\u00e5 kan du identifisera meg n\u00e5r eg d\u00f8yr.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abDet ser eg fram til. Men eg vil kje ha noko merke i den andre leggen \u00f2g.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abEg tar medisin n\u00e5.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abGodt \u00e5 h\u00f8yra. Men det er vel berre mot kannibalismen, det, tenkjer eg. Kva med sinneanfalla, John, tar du medisin mot dei?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abDoktor\u00a0Vold seier at sinne er heilt normalt for ein med mitt temperament.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abJa, d\u00e5 s\u00e5. Doktor\u00a0Vold var jo den beste studenten p\u00e5 medisinstudiet. Men kven er det du har med deg?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abDette er Sorry,\u00bb sa Fossmark. \u00abHan heiter faktisk det. Han er formidlar p\u00e5 Garborgsenteret.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abDet er ein utsett posisjon,\u00bb sa Torvund. \u00abDei d\u00f8yr som fluger, dei formidlarane der. Er han vikar?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abSj\u00f8lvsagt. I tillegg er han fetter av Bongo Jensen; men ikkje einegga, slik som Gonzo Johnsen var.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abHan liknar ikkje p\u00e5 dei.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abSorry er opphoping av recessivt genmateriale.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abSlikt kan skje.\u00bb Torvund rekte handa ut mot Jansen. \u00abEg takkar deg p\u00e5 vegner av alle med suksess. Hadde det ikkje vore for slike som deg, s\u00e5 ville kje me andre ha vore vellukka.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abInga \u00e5rsak, herr Torvund.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abIkkje tenk p\u00e5 det, Sorry. Alle har sin skjebne, s\u00e6rleg du. N\u00e5, koss g\u00e5r det med etterforskinga?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abMe var nettopp hos politiet,\u00bb sa Fossmark. \u00abDei st\u00e5r utan spor.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abD\u00e5 m\u00e5 me finna ut av dette sj\u00f8lv.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abDet var det eg h\u00e5pte p\u00e5.\u00bb Fossmark gnei seg i hendene. \u00abKor skal me begynna?\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abMed begynnelsen,\u00bb sa Torvund. \u00abKom tilbake i morgon, s\u00e5 skal eg fortelja historia om den norske m\u00e5lstriden. D\u00e5 vil me kanskje forst\u00e5 kven som har motiv til \u00e5 omsetja Fred til bokm\u00e5l.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abMen Helge!\u00bb Fossmark flekka tennene. \u00abEg er norsklektor, for faen, eg kan alt<\/em> om m\u00e5lstriden!\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abMen det\u00a0kan kje eg,\u00bb sa Jansen. \u00abOrsak, herr John, men dette har eg verkeleg lyst til \u00e5 h\u00f8yra.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00abDer ser du,\u00bb sa Torvund til Fossmark, \u00abs\u00e5 lenge det finst dustar, m\u00e5 me kje slutta med folkeopplysing.\u00bb<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Er <\/em>du ein dust? I s\u00e5 fall: f\u00f8lg med p\u00e5 folkeopplysinga!<\/em><\/p>\n

Til opplysing<\/a> (8. desember)<\/p>\n

Til oversynsside<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

John Fossmark, avdelingsdirekt\u00f8r p\u00e5 Garborgsenteret, og Sorry Jansen, ein formidlar…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":5026,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[58],"class_list":["post-4268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-garborgs-galningar-moter-riksmalsforbundet","tag-garborgs-galningar-moter-riksmalsforbundet","featured-image-size-large"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n7. desember: #julehelge - Garborgsenteret<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jaermuseet.no\/garborgsenteret\/7-desember\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nn_NO\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"7. desember: #julehelge - 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